17 Responses to “REI Brain Craziest Tenant Story Contest”

1. Rick Buck August 3, 2010 at 2:28 pm #

   I have an apartment building where I pay utilities. The one unit, the people lived there for about 3 months before asking how to use the new shower faucet. It is the type where you pull down on the sout to use shower. I wandered why the water bill was so cheap, I take it they so not use much water. LOL
2. reibrain August 3, 2010 at 2:33 pm #

   Ha, I wonder what the heck they were doing for those 3 months for showers. Lol, you didn’t have to do a deep clean on that carpet after that did ya? 😉

   Thanks Rick! You’re first… so you win the “Fast Action” prize of one of Gary Vaynerchuks “Crush It!” books. I’ll get a hold of you directly to get your mailing addy 🙂

   – Trevor
3. Donna Schultheis August 3, 2010 at 2:39 pm #

   I had some tenants that orginally rented from me, and her sister and family moved in with them, well to make a long story short.. the orignal tenants moved out.. sister and her family didn’t get approved, but didn’t leave either.

   I was in process of eviction with them, and it was hot one day, someone came up to me and said, they were putting a pool up, and not a wading pool either! Well I went over there, and said “Oh no your not!” Well she said “yes I am its hot and we are gonna have something!” I said not that pool your not, no pools allowed!, besides your not paying water, rent or nothing!” So I gave her a copy of the rules. I left and she sat on her steps while reading them. It wasn’t 20 mintues later, and they were in the yard with a slip n slide.. well rules don’t say nothing about a slip n slide, she won.

   On another occassion same person, they called a rent to own place for washing machine.. I was like heck no! Can’t pay me, but they can rent stuff.. no way! So I called the place and said, “hey you don’t check references very well.”, Well to make a long story short, after I watched out my window of them playing phone tag with the tenants, delivery guys, and the manager that I was on the phone with, wasn’t long and they were loading the washing machine right back up in the delivery truck and hauling it back to the store!
4. Amanda Evans August 3, 2010 at 2:55 pm #

   So, I have an apartment complex. Its two levels- upstairs and downstairs. I had a tenant in a downstairs apartment call me in the middle of the night. They were insistent that the upstairs neighbors were spying on them through the floor. Keep in mind, there are no holes in the downstairs tenants ceiling, with the exception of the light fixtures. So these tenants were just SURE that the upstaors neighbors were spying on them. Here’s the kicker….the apartment upstairs from them- VACANT!
5. James Enright August 3, 2010 at 5:37 pm #

   I have a 2 flat unit occupied. The upstairs tenant caused me a lot of
   troubles and problems. Before finally moving out, unkown to me, the tenant got her revenge on me and not telling she is moving out. What she did is poured the oil down and clogged every sink, bathtub drain, bathroom sink drain, toilet drain, and kitchen drain. I was forced to
   call the plumber to unclogged every one of them. This was an expensive lesson. The name of the story is to verify every tenant’s applications, previous tenant’s landlord, check credit history, check criminal records, check courthouse for any previous evictions. Well that’s one. I’m going
   to stop here. You get the idea! Oh, what fun that was!! A real eye opener!
6. Lorri Love August 3, 2010 at 7:23 pm #

   OMG, where do I start. I have 39 duplexes, 34 on the same street. I am in Tennessee and we have new eviction rules. If you avoid the process server it can go on forever, literally. Well, we rent by the week so we can evict faster. It’s now three months into the eviction process for property only just to get her out. One day we get a call from a trailer park asking for a reference for HER! Are you kidding!Are you truly that stupid! Watching her every day trotting around while we pay her rent and utilities (gas & electric) and can’t do anything about it. FINALLY, we get her out, well we thought, she moved in with her brother-in-law across the street. Oh, no your not. We fixed that one real quick. Come to find out when she left she had not had water for 6 WEEKS! That wasn’t even the worst part. She put a fish in one of the air vents. This is just the newest stories. You can imagine how many stories I have…lol
7. Patty Aliff August 3, 2010 at 11:20 pm #

   I had a female tenant call one morning to let me know that her water pipes in the bathroom were making a vibrating noise, I told her there might be air in the main line and to give me a call if it kept doing it. She called that evening to say it was still doing it, she heard it every time she went in the bathroom through out the day. I drove over to the apartment, walked in her bathroom, reached up and took down her battery operated razor and slid the button to the off position, problem solved, I was polite about it, but it was really a duh moment for her.
8. David Dey August 4, 2010 at 12:32 am #

   I used to own a Mobile Home Park in Tampa Fl. It was a large park with lots of units but not in a good area and as a weekly rental not your top end renters.

   This caused for a number of interesting situations, one of which I will tell you now.

   This is the one where I was robbed at gunpoint by the 2 stooges (or so it seemed) Stop me if you’ve heard this one.

   So, as I mentioned, large park, weekly rentals, So it was nothing for me to leave on any given Friday evening with anywhere between 5-10k cash in my pockets.

   On a normal Friday I would leave the manager to collect the rent while I ran errands, ran collection calls, and handled repairs.

   When I would get back, the money or most of it would be waiting. (turns out the manager was stealing more than the crooks ever could have taken)

   On this particular Friday, I don’t know why but, I decided to stay in the office with the manager and when she collected rent I took it from her and put it in my pocket.

   By the end of the day I had over 7k in my pocket in 20’s and 100’s.

   Come evening,there was a lady who had just rented a MH from us and needed help getting her power turned on. SO I called TECO for her. (That’s Tampa Electric Company for those who don’t know.)

   Now there were 5 people in the office at the time. The manager, her friend, the tenant who needed the power turned on, myself, and… shall we call him Jonathan the idiot security guard? (The managers husband)

   So I’m on the phone, on hold with TECO when two men run into the cramped office space waving their guns and yelling for us to put our hands up.

   One is wearing a skull cap with the extra fabric in back wrapping around his face. The other is wearing a scream mask. (You know the long ghost mask from the movie Scream? or in this case more like “Scary Movie 1&2”)

   Now I’m thinking these are some of the teens from the park playing a joke on us. (I’ll tell you another time about when I went scaring them with a gorilla mask) So I tell the guys with the guns, “Hold on a second. I’m on the phone with TECO.” And wouldn’t you know it, for a couple of seconds they put their gun down.

   For a couple of seconds they were so confused they actually put their guns down.

   The Scream mask gunman regains his wits, points the gun at me and screams at me, “You think this is a joke?”

   Ever hear about someone saying that they felt a tingle go down their spine telling them they were in danger? Well that is exactly what happened to me. That tingle went down my spine and told me this was for real.

   Just then, the TECO representative comes on the phone. ” TECO Customer service, how may I make your day better?”

   “Well, I Have to go,” I replied. “I’m being robbed.”

   “Thank you and have a nice day,” I hear as I’m putting down the phone.

   So the robbers are checking out the room and they spy Jonathan the idiot security guard smiling like a cheshire cat.

   “What’s so funny?” the gunman asked.

   “Your guns not even loaded,” was the idiots reply.

   >Cha-CHIK< was the sound as the man loaded the chamber.

   "Gee, Thanks Jonathan," I thought. "If anyone needs a hostage please take him!"

   So the gunman turns his attention to the manager and tells her to give him all the money in the money drawer. (How he knew there was a money drawer is beyond me)

   Just remember, I have been collecting the money from her as she went so when the manager looked at me. I nodded and said, "Go ahead and give him all the money in the drawer!"

   So with 6-7k in my pocket she pulls out what is left in the drawer, a lone 100 dollar bill and a personal check for 125.

   She asks the robber,"Do you want the check too?"

   "Nah," he replied. "Just gimme the cash!"

   She reached out her hand with the bill. and he said, "Toss it over!"

   Well you know what a lone piece of paper does when it is thrown? Just like a leaf in the wind it zig zaged gracefully to the ground not 6 inches from where she threw it and directly at my feet.

   You'll pardon my vernacular but I am just repeating what the man said.

   "AAW SH*T!!"

   I looked at him as genuinely as possible and said, "Don't worry, I'm not a hero."

   So he reached down and grabbed the bill. As he was coming back up he spied the idiot security guard reaching behind him.

   He aims his gun at us (Jonathan was sitting behind me so to get to him they had to get through me, Gee thanx J) and says, "What are you doin?"

   "Nuttin'" was Jonathans response.

   "Finish your move but make it slow!!" Yelled the gunman.

   From behind his back Jonathan pulls out…….. An extendable umbrella!!

   AN EXTENDABLE UMBRELLA?!! WHAT THE HECK WAS HE PLANNING TO DO WITH THAT??!! BIFF THEM WITH IT?!!

   Now the 2 robbers had had enough of Jonathan, (So had we) They tell him to get on the ground, face down, execution style. (Now it was getting serious)

   As he was laying there they made their escape and off they went.

   A minute later Jonathan jumps up and screams, "Where's my bee bee gun?"

   That was the last straw!! The managers friend broke into tears and cussed Jonathan out, up one side and down the other.

   "You could have gotten us killed!!" she screamed.

   So of course we call the cops and they show up a little later. While they were taking our statement a friend called just to check in.

   "I can't talk right now," I said. "I've just been robbed and the cops are here right now."

   "Robbed?!! How much did they get?"

   "100 bucks," I replied.

   "100 bucks??" he replied. "You didn't get robbed." "You just paid a toll."

   And so I had. I almost consider it worth it for the conversation piece.

   Dave
9. David Dey August 4, 2010 at 12:38 am #

   So as you know, I stick around the park rent collection days, which included Fridays and the beginning of the month. (of course the beginning of the month being the time when individuals received their social security and disability checks retirement + section 8)

   For a number of those checks they would choose me for their custodian. (Some individuals were not allowed to collect their own check. It had to be rationed out through a custodian to make sure all bills, expenses, food etc was covered)

   Such was the case of, lets call her “Marta”.

   Mid forties, “Marta” was an interesting individual, well known in this area for her unusual antics.

   There was the time she stood out on her front porch flinging her nightdress over her head (nothing underneath) because, and I quote, “she had to air it out.”

   Then there was the time she had chased my electrician across the park with a rake screaming “El Diablo! El Diablo!”

   Now remembering what he looked like I can say that was probably an honest mistake. 🙂

   Suffice to say, she was deserving of her disability check. (Honestly, I don’t know why she wasn’t institutionalized before)

   Well, I was her check custodian, so when it came I took her to the check cashing store to get it cashed, then to the electric company to pay her bill then groceries.

   She was in a particularly lucid mind frame so I told her that we could stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat.

   This of course made her day, and it was actually a chance for me to stay away from the park for a little bit which didn’t hurt as the chore for the day was emptying the warehouse behind the office of all the mattresses and furniture that had stuffed it to the gills and taking it to the dump.

   We were going to stop when I got a call from the manager that there was some urgent issue that needed me back immediately. So back we went. Marta was none too happy about that.

   When we got back she got out of the truck and slammed the door letting me know her anger.

   I soon forgot about her as there was a crowd in the office, each with a need that dwarfed any other. (yes I’m being sarcastic)

   I had heard and addressed around half of the needs when Marta stormed into the office demanding to go to lunch as promised.

   “Can’t you see I’m busy?!” I blurted. Then realizing how brisk I had sounded, I said in a calmer voice. “I can’t do it today, but we’ll try again tomorrow.”

   Out she stormed again. She paced in front of the office a few times, then much calmer walked back in, Went over to none other than “Jonathan the idiot security guard” and asked him for a cigarette. Which of course he obliged, and out she walked again.

   I, thinking she had calmed down, went back to the task at hand when in walked Marta again. (not nearly enough time to have finished her cig.)

   “OK bye” She said and walked out again, presumably to head back to her house.

   “Well finally,” I thought and soon forgot her.

   Around 10 minutes later, another tenant runs into the office and says, “You do know your office is on fire?”

   We all ran out and sure enough there was a blaze running up the side of my building easily 30 feet high.

   Apparently the guys who were emptying the warehouse had left a large stack of old mattresses pushed up to my office’s back wall.

   Now I have an interesting piece of trivia for you. Old mattresses make great kindling for a half smoked cigarette.

   So, I’m standing in front of this blazing inferno in shock as a crowd starts to gather and watch the festivities.

   I was jolted into reality by my manager’s panicked voice.

   “What are we going to do?” she sobbed.

   “Call 911,” I Yelled back. “And go see if we have any fire extinguishers!!”

   “I’ve got one in my apt.” One tenant yelled.

   “Well go grab it!” I responded. “Everyone go get your fire extinguishers!!” I hollered to all the lookie loo’s.

   Just at that time the first tenant had come back with his fire extinguisher.

   My heart sank when I saw what he had brought back. The fire extinguisher was one of those mini kitchen extinguishers about as wide as a 20 oz coke bottle. (thankfully a little taller)

   I stood there for a second then thought. “What the heck?” grabbed the thing and ran toward the blaze.

   I had sprayed out that peashooter within a matter of seconds with what seemed to be no results. The flames were so hot I had to run back to the place I started from, where waiting for me was my next smurfed size extinguisher.

   Over and over I ran into that blaze with my exercise in futility, (this gives me new respect for that extendable umbrella and bee bee gun)(and if you don’t get that joke read my first post) but believe it or not little by little the flames were going down.

   By the time the firetrucks got there the flame had been totally put out. 30 or more mini extinguisher littered the ground. I was covered in ash and soot. The plastic on my baseball cap which I had on backwards (because that’s how I roll) had melted onto my forehead, and the soles of my sneakers had literally melted away to a mushy mess. In other words I looked the part.

   When the police arrived and asked us what had happened, of course we knew and told them about Marta whom we noticed across the highway watching her handiwork.

   When she saw the police men crossing the street to question her, she made a shriek and took off running causing a foot chase that looked so comical I almost forgot about the damage for a moment. (These boys had not missed a donut)

   I tell you this story to say this. “Hell hath no fury like a crazy woman scorned.” or

   Fella’s, keep your lunch dates!

   Dave
10. Lorri Love August 4, 2010 at 10:12 am #

    Next you need to have the funniest or stupidest handy man stories. We had a hole in a ceiling. Just needed a simple drywall patch. Our handyman actually nailed a 2×4 to the ceiling to hold the small drywall onto the ceiling. Thats not even the best part. He proceeded to POPCORN the 2×4. Yes, it really happened..lol
11. Donna Schultheis August 5, 2010 at 4:36 pm #

    I have to tell you all this.. We had some tenants, we’ll just call them ma and paw kettle, with 3 little sauce pans…lol. Always sticking their nose in everyones affairs… everybody has them! lol Anyway they packed up their stuff and moved to west to his parents house, was gonna move in with them. When they left, kinda abandoned the place and never turned in the keys.. so I had to go through attorney for a few months to try and get entry into the place.. Few months go by and I heard they were back around in the area. So just by chance I happened to find some phone numbers to call, and BINGO! I got them on the phone! I asked them, you gonna hand over the keys and sign things over or do I have to go to court with you. Well they were at the office in a flash. After all that was said and done, I finally went in the place.. OH MY GOD! I was about sick to my stomach!! Now mind you, they had the place locked up for a few months! It was the worst I have seen ever! Holes in floors, walls, and ceilings, you couldn’t even see the paneling, for all the stickers the sauce pans put on the walls not to mention the floor! Food, toys garbage scattered and bugs! The bathroom by the tub was a brown color, and not original brown either, tub same. Honestly, I can’t even give the place away, trust me, I’ve tried!

    Time goes by and I would always kinda joke with my hubby about them trying to come back and try see if I had anything to rent.. lol

    I’d say 3 months went by right.. and I get a phone call, its a tenant.. its on a saturday, and she says.. You are open today right? I said yeah I’m here.. she said, well someone wants to come down and talk to you about a place.. I said ok… fine.

    About half an hour goes buy… and I see the KETTLES van pull up.. my hubby sticks his head in the door of my office and is laughing so hard, he was almost choking to death.. lol

    They had guts enough to walk into my office and ask me if I have anything for rent… This is what I said.. I said I have a place that when the tenant moved out needs kitchen cabinets… believe this or NOT, this is what they said!! Well, I don’t know about that place, if it needs that done to it… that’s a little much, don’t think we can do all that!!! (LAUGHING)I said its still better than the one you guys left here for me, even without the kitchen finished!

    Then I said trying to hold back the laughter, LOL WEll not sure I can do anything really for you at all… IF I did, it would be to SELL you the one back that you had before… and believe me its untouched from when you were here.. (LAUGHING) I said I can’t even give that one away!! (laughing) She piped up quickly and said OK we’ll take IT!! OH MY GOD!! By now, I’m about ready to bust a gut!! lol, Finally I told them, I’m sorry but I can’t rent to you guys… not they way you did what you did.. LOL… and they left. Untouched by anything that was said or done! (LAUGHING)
12. reibrain August 5, 2010 at 11:14 pm #

    Keep up the great stories guys and gals! I’m loving them! 5 more days to go!!
13. Kymberly August 12, 2010 at 9:05 am #

    “WHy you in my face about the missing rent?! You know i would have paid but I was in jail.” Aahhh, that explains the seemingly abandoned house, unpaid rent, unreturned phone calls, and apparently also the reason I should feel so relieved by now.
14. ociana August 13, 2010 at 2:58 pm #

    I was new to the rental business, so that is my excuse.

    I had a young man call me inquiring about a rental house that I had for rent. His caller ID on my phone was “Money.” I thought it was pretty funny, but I decided to chat with him.

    He told me he was his bosses’ agent and that they wanted to rent the house.

    I knew he was young, but had no idea as to how young.

    So, I explained to him that I would run a credit check and that I would need the deposit and first month’s rent.

    “No problem,” he says.

    So he and his partner show up in a new Cadillac Escalade with temporary tags still on it. The young man driving it said his dad bought for him for his birthday. He had just turned 18. They both claimed that they were college students.

    Their credit check came back fine!

    Well, the story really gets interesting here. I got a call from one of the boy’s mother saying that these kids were high school students. She and her husband were in Myrtle Beach buying some properties and these two (their son and his best friend) had basically ran away from home and rented my rental house!

    She and her husband wanted to know how much it was going to cost them to get out of the binding contract her son had signed (remember, he had just turned 18)!

    I felt for them (I have kids and have had teenagers), and told them that the boys had (by now) done some damage to the house, and that I could send her pictures (iridescent orange paint over spray on the ceiling, walls and porch). She said that would be fine, and I would keep the deposit, of course.

    She sent her brother (the one that was supposed to be watching “Richie Rich” to clean up the trash and mess these two (high schoolers) had left behind, and she and her husband gladly paid the money I asked of them.
15. ociana August 13, 2010 at 2:59 pm #

    Whoops! Am I too late? Oh, well.
16. reibrain August 16, 2010 at 2:15 pm #

    Awesome Crazy Tenant Stories everyone!

    My wife and I were out camping over the weekend so I wasn’t able to pick a winner… going through them right now. Lol, these stories go to show you just how crazy it can be to be a rental property owner 🙂

    Be on the lookout for the winners tonight!

    – Trevor
17. Jeffrey July 21, 2011 at 6:08 pm #

    I had one tenant that was always breaking here bath tub handles off the wall. I had to fix the faucets 4 times before I fugured out how they were getting broke. apparently she was having sex with her boyfriend and she used the handles for support. I guess they coundn’t support her fine ass three hundred pounds of beauty/ (joking she was not beautiful).

    The other issue that I ran into was buy and or fixing her refridereator. apparently when she was hot and didn’t have an air conditioner AC. Guess what this briliant lady did she would grab a chair, open the freezer and refridgerator doors and just sit in frount of the cold air comming from the refridgerator! After purchasing 2 refridgerators I found out she as using my appliances for AC!

    Needless to say I evicted her. she still has not paid off the judgement I have on her.

    Oh and i forgot the best part 3 months later she called on one of my rentals I had for rent. She must of not reconized my phone number and tried to rent from me again.

    No way, she is crazy. I can’t beleive that she thought i would rent to her again. All of this took place in my home town of Rochester, NY. I’m about 10 minutes from the lake (Lake Ontario.

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